Nobody's ever going to call it that Microsoft continues terrible naming streak with XBox Series X, and the memes are already starting

From Kotaku:

That didn’t take long! The next-generation Xbox was announced last night, and people online already have nicknames for it.

In the English-speaking world, it’s either being called “Xbox Sex” or simply “Sex,” a shortening of “Series X.”

Of course, it's always possible that someone at Mircosoft saw this coming, and figured that it wouldn't be entirely negative for their new console to be called "The Sex," but given their long tradition of terrible console names, I somehow doubt it. And so "The Sex" will become the most awkward product name ever to be put on a child's Christmas wish list to Santa, right after the XBone. 

Hell, at least the XBox One X acronymized to XBOX; Series X is just a bizarre choice. And I don't want to hear about how they have multiple consoles planned for this generation, which is why they're all going to share that "Series" monniker. It's still confusing and weird, and can only serve to confuse consumers... and, occasionally, amuse them.

Yes, I forsee a lot of very strained birds and bees conversations between clueless videogame-seeking pre-teens and their suddenly-very-concerned parents, as to why their children are requesting "The Sex" for XMas. Another solid job done, Microsoft! GG!

And the award for fastest-selling video game console in US history goes to...

It's the Nintendo Switch. Of course it's the Switch.

As reported by TechRadar:

Once upon a time there were pundits who thought the Nintendo Switch was going to be a dud, because – after all – what would be the appeal of a portable home console in this age of smartphones and iPads?

Turns out, they were very, very wrong. Today Nintendo announced that the Switch is the fastest-selling home video game console in US history, soundly thrashing the previous record held by Nintendo's own Wii console. Within 10 months, 4.8 million Switch units were sold compared to the 4 million moved by the Wii.

[...]

It's an impressive start for a console that still doesn't have a dedicated online service or even a way to store game save files in the cloud. 

Yet the Switch, in many ways, has reminded audiences (and developers) that game players seek fun above all else, which is an important lesson at a time when competing consoles like the Xbox One X and PlayStation 4 Pro are focusing heavily on graphics.

The Switch is almost laughably far from the impressive specs of those devices, but that graphical power doesn't seem as necessary when you realize you're playing Skyrim on the Switch while in the back seat on a road trip.

The Switch's blockbuster year has some trying to suss out exactly why it's doing so well, as in this piece from Polygon (their first reason: it has no competition, being the only console/handhold hybrid system on the market), and others wondering if Nintendo can keep the momentum going (the lack of 64GB cartridges until 2019, combined with a lack of onboard storage space, having been flagged as potential problems for the coming year), but there's no doubt that the Switch is a success, and will be around for a long, long time.

Now, if only there were a handheld that let me access my Steam backlog collection while on the go. That is something that I'd pay good money for; sadly, the only thing currently in the pipeline that would quality is SMACH Z, which is looking more and more like vaporware.

4K's other problem...

Leaving aside, for the moment, that people mostly do not have or need 4K displays, and probably won't anytime soon since there isn't (and won't be) a 4K TV broadcast standard, it turns out that 4K has another significant problem, and this one may well be even more serious. In this age of Netflix binging and videogame downloading, it's looking like the sheer size of 4K content files may be its Achilles' heel.

From VentureBeat:

The Remedy Entertainment sci-fi adventure Quantum Break is 178.1 GB on the Xbox One X. If, like me, you have a 1TB data cap with your internet service provider, downloading that one game will consume more than one-sixth of your total for the month. With games at these sizes, consumers now have to consider both the cost of the game and the effect it will have on their limited internet service. That should worry Microsoft, Sony, Netflix, and any other company that trades in data-intensive entertainment.

Pretty Good Gaming posted a pretty good video on the subject, too:

Yes, data caps! Everybody has one, and 4K content will burn through your data cap so quickly that 4K may just not be worth the trouble, even if you have a 4K display. Which, statistically speaking, you probably don't... and won't.

Did I mention that 4K gaming really isn't a thing, yet? The new XBox One X is not going to change that, either; much like 3D TVs and monitors, and the VR technology which is withering on the vine as we watch, 4K is doomed to eventual irrelevancy. Seriously, save your bandwidth, and your money.

XBO-X? XBox One X garners a curiously muted response.

For months, gaming media sites have been waiting with bated breath for Microsoft to actually debut the XBox Scorpio. The specs were teased months ago, of course, but questions still abounded.

• What would they call it? 
• What would it cost? 
• When would it go on sale? 
• Would any XBox exclusive games debut along with it?

The answers, it turns out, are:

• XBox One X (which Kotaku immediately dubbed the XOX, pronounced "Zox," although XBO-X may end up being the more obvious abbreviation);
• US$499, which is exactly double the XBox One S (henceforth referred to as the XBOne S);
• November 7th, and
• no, not really, since XBOne runs Windows 10 anyway, so everything released for the platform will also be coming to, at the very least, Microsoft's Windows Store on PC.

The one remaining question: Will enough people care about XBO-X to revive it as a viable gaming platform? The answer to which seems to be: Probably not.

As a gaming console, the new XBO-X is very technically impressive, and if Microsoft had launched with the more impressive specs at the start of the current console generation, it might have made a real difference to the way things unfolded. But they didn't, and we're now several years into Gen8, and Steam is the dominant platform in games, with Sony's PS4 as a solid #2, and Nintendo's Switch occupying the "new hotness" niche nicely. Considering that the average consumer only buys one gaming platform each generation, it's pretty fair to say that gamers have all picked their horses for this race, already, with only the Nintendo fans getting a changes to switch to a better horse mid-race.

So, XBO-X doesn't have the same sales job to do that XBone did; it doesn't just have to be the best console, starting out on an equal footing with all the other consoles, and with consumers having yet to make up their minds. It has to change peoples' minds, convincing them to buy a 2nd console at the highest console price point at a time with Steam and PS4 are dominant, with Switch ascendant, and XBO-X not even available until November. Oh, and everything it can do, your PC can also do, without costing you anything extra.

Everything, that is, except for 4K gaming, which may be why Microsoft harped on it so much, apparently oblivious to the fact that basically nobody has 4K TVs. 4K is not a thing, people; 4K gaming isn't going to become a thing, anytime soon. Seriously, VR has a better chance of becoming a thing than 4K does, and VR's chances suck.

The new XBO-X is a decent-enough, $499, budget-to-midrange gaming PC that sits in your living room and runs Windows 10. If that's what you're in the market for, then the XBO-X is a decent-enough option, and the end of Moore's Law means that it will continue to be a decent-enough option for years, so Microsoft will eventually sell enough of them to be able to declare XBO-X to be a success. But I don't see it changing any PlayStation owners' minds; if you've already picked a different horse for this race, there's nothing here that can justify switching now. And if you already own a better-than-average gaming PC, there's really nothing here for you, either.

Meanwhile, big game publishers like Square Enix are dropping the XBox logo from their new releases, having apparently decided that the XBox brand isn't relevant to the current gaming marketplace anymore. And did I mention that XBO-X isn't available until November?

It was a pretty slick presentation, I'll give Microsoft that much, but it's several years too late, and this gaming generation has already passed XBox by. People have been asking for months if "Scorpio" could turn things around for XBox, but the big assumption underlying that question was that the market would stand still until Microsoft could releasing the thing. But the market hasn't stood still for them; Nintendo have successfully cast the Switch as Gen8's console comeback kid, and Microsoft have just been too slow getting XBO-X out the door. Time will tell, of course, but I have the feeling that XBO-X is just a little too little, and a little too late.

Sorry, Microsoft. It was almost good enough, and almost soon enough, but now? It's just not enough. And I doubt you'll get a 3rd chance to make this 1st impression, either.