Nokia channels The Onion, announces 5-camera phone in desperate bid for relevance

One of my all-time favourite pieces on satirical site The Onion took dead aim at the increasingly ridiculous men's grooming industry. It's title? Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades.

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades. 

I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me... and became even funnier when Gillette released a six blade razor only months after The Onion's piece was published. And now, years later, it's giving me flashbacks, thanks to this piece on Thurrott.com:

Nokia’s Next Android Flagship Features Five Cameras

I shit you not, they even have pictures. And a promotional video, which has inexplicably been shot entirely in portrait mode. And claims, like:

The company’s Nokia 9 PureView handset will feature a penta-lens setup with ZEISS optics on the back. The “revolutionary” five-camera setup will, of course, allow for better quality pictures.

Of course, it will.