Why men don't wear cosmetics

Once upon a time, when wealth and power looked like the landed nobility of Europe, men's fashions included every bit as much powder, rouge, jewelry, lace, silk, brocade, and wiggery as ladies' fashions did. Because, naturally, it wasn't enough to be wealthy and powerful -- one also needed to be seen as wealthy and powerful, which meant that ostentatious display was part of the deal.

But a couple of things happened to change that. One such thing was the French Revolution, which transformed the sheltered privilege of France's landed nobility from a near-insurmountable advantage into a death sentence, and hammered home the point for all of Europe's nobles that the common folk really did outnumber them by an enormous margin, and that those unwashed masses really weren't controllable unless they allowed themselves to be controlled. Wealth was redistributed by force, and power shifted from the (mostly) lords who'd held it for centuries, to the commoners that they'd been lording it over.

The other thing that happened, of course, was the other revolution: the Industrial Revolution. The effects of this are far-reaching and ongoing, but the immediate effect was to move most of the population of the Industrialized world away from the crop-growing lands that had formed the basis of the wealth of the landed nobility (hint: it's the "landed" part), and towards the cities where factories could be built. Factories, and mass production generally, relies on population density and economies of scale to work, and requires a lot of money to build things like factories and work-houses in the first place, which meant that landed nobles saw their holding of land rapidly lose value, while the bankers, financiers, and common industrialists that they'd been sneering at suddenly became society's power brokers.

And, as both wealth and power shifted from the ostentatious display of landed nobility towards the bankers and industrialists who'd never much cared about that sort of vanity, the image of what wealth and power looked like also shifted. Powdered wigs persisted in courts of law, at least in some parts of the world, but the new uniform of the wealthy and powerful became the simple, sober suit.

And it was a uniform: bankers and financiers eventually settled into charcoal and navy, while men outside the power structure often opted for earth tones; clergy and undertakers wore black. But the basic construction of the suit was common across all professions and social strata, and it's proved to be such a durable design that it's still the uniform, even in our age of business-casual tech-sector workplaces. It's still dark, and plain, and largely devoid of ostentation and ornamentation, and if you want to look like to you belong in the corridors of real wealth and power, you'd better be willing to put one on, and able to look good wearing it.

One thing isn't part of the uniform, of course: makeup. Women, who were discriminated against and thus largely excluded from this industrial age power structure, were also discouraged from adopting its trappings, and so women's fashions are more varied, more interesting, and more heavily ornamented, than men's fashions. Women's fashions may cycle through a set of familiar elements over time, but they also change radically from year to year, much like the court fashions of centuries ago. And perfume and makeup, which long ago stopped being standard elements in the appearance of wealthy and powerful men, continued to feature strongly in women's fashions, changing with the seasons along with the garments themselves.

Added to that, cosmetics are expensive; and the need to spend extra time putting on one's face, and maintaining the look throughout the day, is an added hassle that society expects women to bear, while men needn't bother.

And you know what? Most men are fine with not needing to bother with that shit.

Men don't avoid cosmetics because they're afraid of being mocked for wearing them. The don't wear cosmetics because wearing the stuff is expensive, time-consuming, and largely unnecessary, outside of specific professions where image and presentation are crucial. Even then, most men in those fields only wear makeup while working; they don't wear makeup in their off hours, by choice.

And this simple fact of men's fashions has, for years, been driving the CEOs of the planet's corporate cosmetics conglomerates ever so slightly nuts.

Men make up half the planet's population. If cosmetics companies could just find some way to roll back the clock on hundreds of years of men's fashion trends to normalize men's makeup, the benefit to their bottom lines would be enormous. Which is why, every few years or so, you'll start seeing a new round of stories in fashion columns extolling the virtues of skirts for men, or purses for men, or makeup for men. Stories like this one, spotted today on HuffPost:

The skin care and cosmetics markets have long been dominated by women, but men are increasingly joining in, too.

Slowly but surely, the beauty industry seems to be moving in a much more inclusive direction, both in terms of racial and gender diversity.

Just a few examples: Brands such as CoverGirl, Rimmel and MAC recently put men at the center of their marketing materials. Earlier this year, “Get Out” star Daniel Kaluuya walked the red carpet at the Oscars wearing Fenty Beauty foundation. And cult favorite brand Milk blurred the lines even more with its gender-fluid approach to beauty.

These examples signal a shift in beauty norms. And if the positive responses they’ve garnered are any indication, it appears a lot of people are ready to live in a world where men feel welcome to wear makeup if they so choose.

No, HuffPost, they aren't. Oh, cosmetic companies would love for people to believe that this is an all about inclusiveness, or that beauty norms are shifting, but the uniform look of wealth and power hasn't shifted yet; the power brokers are still wearing very sober, dark grey or navy suits, with ostentatious display limited to their expensive watches, cufflinks, and smartphones. None of that has changed; and, until it does, makeup for men will not become a thing, either.

The inclusiveness angle is pretty smart, all things considered, but the pitch here is not new; the cosmetic industry mounts a campaign like this every few years, backed by "data" from carefully-composed focus groups that "proves" that the time has come for men to start wearing makeup, and it never works. There are always a few people who love to buck society's fashion norms, of course, and times when young men would spend a few years peacocking, whether in rebellion against the power structure, or in emulation of popular performers of the day. But it never lasts, because the source of wealth and power in our data-driven age doesn't change; power still looks like the same money men and manufacturers that have been in the driver's seat for over a century, and most young men eventually grow up to want to be part of that power structure... or, at least, to stop thumbing their noses at it as enthusiastically as they once did.

The day may well come when women occupy more positions in that power structure than they do today. On that day, when the look of power becomes something other than today's mostly old, white men, we'll have to see what shape that look takes. Personally, I hope that it liberates women from the oppression of the fashion industry, enabling them to wear clothes that are just as boring and invariant from year to year as men's fashions have been, rather than simply trapping men in the same, expensive cycle of needless consumption simply for the sake of fashion (although maybe that's just me), but I'll be very surprised if increased inclusion of women in positions of power and influence will equate to men wearing makeup, since men's makeup mostly only benefits the owners of the companies that make the stuff.

Now, if you want to wear makeup, dear reader, then you go right ahead. It doesn't hurt me if you want to feel pretty, or want to hide your blemishes, or just like the way the stuff feels on your skin, and that's true regardless of your biosex, your gender, or your sexuality. You do you, and may the doing bring you nothing but bliss.

But please stop pretending that men are avoiding makeup because cosmetic companies are excluding us from doing something that we all really, really, secretly yearn to do. Cosmetic companies float this idea every few years, and abandon it every time for lack of interest, because men mostly aren't interested. Peacocking just isn't something that men really do, anymore, and the desperate wishes of the fashion industry aren't likely to change that anytime soon.